November 29, 2014
I hope everyone had a nice Black Friday. We spent the day in bed watching movies: Hannah and Her Sisters and Blue Velvet (I wanted my wife to see where Lana Del Rey gets all her video ideas from) and spent absolutely zero dollars. But now it’s officially the Christmas season (for those who celebrate it. Also, for everybody else.) and a parent’s thoughts turn to toys.
I went absolutely ape-shit over Xmas as a kid. By mid-November I had 90% of the toys in in the JC Penny catalog circled (the remaining 10% were girl toys) and ended up with most of them under the tree. I would be tired of the majority of those toys in a day (they always seemed cooler on the Saturday morning commercials) but my parents would be stuck with the credit card bill for months. I did love those Hot Wheels well into the summer, though.
Now as a socially conscious feminist, the whole issue of toys brings me great anxiety. First is the fact that most toys for kids today (and all the toys at Wal-Mart) are made under questionable labor practices. The thought of giving a child a toy made by child labor in China is just a deal with the devil. How many of those Black Friday parents are clobbering each other for a Barbie doll that was made by kids who are essentially slaves? Would they buy that doll if they knew? (Probably, they were only $5 at one Wal-Mart.)
Black Friday 2014: Fight breaks out at Walmart over Barbie doll, more incidents
But most of what we consume this season has some bad mojo behind it, from the chocolate we shove down kids’ throats to the coffee we drink while we do it. So the first goal this season is to pay attention to where this stuff comes from and who makes it. Portland is a great city to buy local from. It’s not always the cheapest option, but it’s good for the soul and that’s what the Baby Jesus would want.
13 Products Most Likely To Made By Child Or Forced Labor
The other issue is the relationship between toys and gender socialization. I’ve lectured on this topic for 25 years. I’ve always found it interesting that as soon as little girls can sit up we give them baby dolls and start training them for motherhood. Why don’t we similarly train boys for fatherhood? Boys DO play with dolls. They are called “action heroes” and come with guns and “Kung Fu Grip.” I was obsessed with GI Joe as a kid but knew which girls got the Easy Bake Oven for Christmas because they had the cookies (along with their domestic apprenticeship).
The new adds for the Easy Bake Oven are just as sexist as they were in 1972, but the tide has turned. Mattel recently reported its profits were down as Barbie dolls had fallen out of favor. Good. This house will be a Barbie-Free Zone.
I remember the talking Barbies of the 1990s that said things like “Math is hard” and “Let’s go shopping.” That’s not the message I want for my daughter. If she wants dolls, they can have realistic figures and non-gendered aspirations. I want a doll that says, “I’m applying to MIT” and “I’m not a SkyCap. Give your baggage to somebody else.” If she wants to bake things, I’ll get her a chef’s hat and a Gordon Ramsey DVD. Gone are the days of Mystery Date and princess parties.
They gave each kid a Barbie and a doll with real proportions. What they say next really says it all.
![¡]02051707¡^--SHANTOU, May 17, 2002 (Xinhua) --Workers dress for dolls at the Yiewei Arts and Crafts Company in Chenghai City in south China's Guangdong Province May 17, 2002. The city puts production of toys and handicrafts as a pillar industry which earned some 7 billion yuan(US$875 million) in 2001. (Xinhua Photo/Zhang Yiwen)](https://watchingthewheelsdad.files.wordpress.com/2014/11/china_-_toy_factory.jpg)
Of course my fear is that she’ll want a Little Mermaid costume made in some sweatshop by Vietnamese orphans and know how to sing “Someday My Prince Will Come” instead of Sleater-Kinney’s “I Wanna Be Your Joey Ramone.” Do I honor her choice? Or do I take her to a basketball game instead (explaining that some of the players are wife-beaters)? I really have no idea in a consumerist society like ours how to avoid these moral landmines that are set in front of our children, especially our girls. No answers yet. Stay tuned.
EDIT: Thanks to my cousin Jennifer for turning me on to Amightygirl.com. Take a look at this link below!
http://www.amightygirl.com/holiday-guide
Image source: http://feministing.com/2014/11/25/photo-of-the-day-7-year-old-girl-unimpressed-by-sexist-advertising/
Watching the Wheels 
Luckily, you are in control of what comes into your house for the next few years. In the meantime, she will learn by example. G is 10, and he checks to see where things are made because he’s seen me doing it and talking about it his whole life. I won’t say that it means he immediately casts aside his desires for things made outside the US, but it gives him pause for thought, and that’s all I can ask for at his age.
It’s scary how much influence parents have on their children, for better or for worse. I deliberately fostered an appreciation for those toys that I felt were appropriate, and steered him away from the things I thought were not. That’s not to say that he only wants to play with wooden blocks lovingly hand-carved by elves in the woods of Maine. And I’m not saying that I haven’t been swayed by sincere wishes for plastic stuff that I thought was crap, but that brought him a great deal of happiness (a storm trooper helmet – and I blame myself for letting him watch Star Wars). You have to find a balance and pick your battles.
You get off easy this year – all Cozy wants are hugs and kisses.
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My only unsolicited advice to offer, as I have seemingly raised my kids without gender bias (or atleast as little as I could be conscientious and conscious of….) is that rather than offering Cozy strictly gender neutral things, once she is old enough to show preference to anything or interest in anything, cater to THAT not her gender. 🙂 You are an awesome dad and will become ever more awesome. She will surprise you. Roll with it.
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Great topic! I don’t know why it didn’t show up in my feed until months later….oh well.
What jumped out at me was *if she wants to bake, I’ll get her a chef’s hat and a Gordon Ramsay DVD* Why a male chef? Why Gordon Ramsay – he’s a verbally abusive jerk. Why not Julia Child? She was badass! She broke the barrier at le Cordon Bleu, cooked like a dream, and was always generous with her guest chefs – encouraging them, and learning from them
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