January 22, 2015
The 5 months have flown by, but I’ve learned a few things about myself and the known universe. Here are 10 random lessons.
- Just let me do the laundry, because everything is going to be pink anyway.
- That moment when a screaming baby gets her bottle of milk must be the same as a junkie getting a hit of heroin. For both of us.
- Girls fart without shame.
- When my daughter wears the brown hat my mom saved from my babyhood and people think she is a boy, I get a thrill from her first gender transgression.
- Her saying “Mama” first is not a fair contest because that’s the sound of the mouth coming off the breast. The baby’s mouth, not mine.
- If a baby doesn’t poop for a day, get ready for a California mud slide.
- When we dance to Van Morrison songs in the living room, I already picture dancing with her at her wedding.
- She knows how to use her eyes to get what she wants. 5 months old.
- I regularly imagine that I’m inside a burning car trying to get her out of the Graco car seat.
- I could just listen to her for hours, my little Yoko Ono.
Bonus: #11 – I can drink a LOT of coffee now.